Originally Published in Morbid Media Magazine, 2006
When I look back at horror movies I love, I think of “The Evil Dead”, “Scream”, “Friday The 13th”, “Nightmare on Elm Street”, “Hellraiser” and all of the classics. What I do not think about is “The Boogeyman”, “Dark Water”, the “War of the Worlds” remake or the “When A Stranger Calls” remake. All of which were PG-13.
I might be a horror snob. When I think horror I think about blood, guts, partial nudity,heavy metal music and senseless violence. I want the hero, male or female, to kick ass. I do not want implied scares or actors walking around whining about every little thing. I know people who really like horror, want to see Ash chopping a demon’s head off with a chainsaw while yelling “Hail to the King, baby”, Jason ripping a half naked woman apart with a pair of hedge clippers; or zombies infesting a city with only food on their minds.
There are people out there that can still make good horror flicks. I enjoy the “Saw” franchise, “Shaun of the Dead” and the “Dawn of the Dead” remake, but each one of them has something in common. They are not PG-13. With all of these horror films going for the scary PG-13 rating, nothing good is or will be coming out. Studios look for the under 17 year old market for movies while pushing out the people that love real horror.
Until PG-13 films start tanking at the box office we will get Emo characters moping around, or whatever big breasted new comer screeching out bad lines. Horror is not for the Teens or early teens.It is for those that can take a real scare. Let the kids have time as kids while the more grown-up enjoy the real horror of seeing a man saw his own leg off.